Northern Vietnam: Hanoi, Ha Long Bay, and Ninh Binh

Northern Vietnam is often described as a picturesque place full of mouthwatering cuisine, stunning landscapes, and dynamic culture. Travelers go to experience the fast-paced rhythm of Hanoi, majestic serenity of Ha Long Bay, and meandering bike paths of Ninh Binh. Captivating street markets overflowing with fresh produce, lush rice paddy fields, and non la (conical hats) add to the romanticism.

Unfortunately, I don't agree with the general consensus and believe northern Vietnam is an overhyped enigma that I hope to never repeat. Yep, that's right! Brad and I left with a bag full of mixed emotions, uncomfortable situations, and sour memories.

Perhaps the abnormal cold weather dampened our moods or social media led us astray. We never heard a bad thing about Vietnam during our time in Southeast Asia, which left us even more perplexed. Friends and fellow tourists said amazing things about the country, thus inflating our expectations. Regardless, travel is subjective. Take my words with a grain of salt because you never know what you'll discover!

Even though our adventure was bizarre, Brad and I made the best of our three weeks in northern Vietnam. Below I cover attractions, must-try foods, candid insights, and recommendations to help you decide whether or not a trip is right for you. Don't worry, it's not entirely bleak!

Hanoi

The capital of Vietnam, Hanoi, is not for the faint of heart. Whizzing motorbikes, claustrophobic sidewalks, and makeshift food vendors overwhelm the streets. The chaotic atmosphere constantly made us feel on edge and overstimulated. I highly recommend booking a comfortable hotel to escape the noise and recharge. Don't forget to pack a pair of earplugs!

As Brad and I explored the Old Quarter, we noticed a lack of happiness. Locals appeared annoyed, curt, and miserable. Laughter and smiles were nowhere to be found, unless you count the hundreds of staged photoshoots taking place at landmarks. Swarms of people posing with props surrounded the Temple of Literature and path around Hoan Kiem Lake. The juxtaposition didn't make any sense!

Shopping for souvenirs was a pleasant distraction. An endless amount of rattan baskets, propaganda posters, ceramics, chopsticks, textiles, tea, and knickknacks filled the narrow stores. We only had luck bargaining with a street vendor for a couple of coffee cups. Keep plenty of local currency on hand and attempt to build rapport before negotiating a cheaper price.

Communist red flags with the iconic yellow hammer and sickle, representing the workers and peasants, fluttered in the wind as we walked past the imposing Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum. The symmetrical concrete façade of St. Joseph's Cathedral was painted to mimic stone, but instead, reminded us of black mold.

Even the colorful Trompe L'oeil Murals of Phung Hung Street turned sinister as we gasped in horror at the nearby tables of cooked dogs on display. Consider renting a swan boat to watch the sunset at Truc Bach Lake if you need a change of scenery.

Whenever Brad and I needed a timeout, we indulged in a decadent Vietnamese coffee. There are three must-try varieties in Hanoi: bac xiu (white coffee), ca phe muoi (salt coffee), and ca phe trung (egg coffee). We loved the creaminess of bac xiu and caramel notes of ca phe muoi, but couldn't appreciate the intense frothy egg meringue of ca phe trung. Sip a cup while admiring thousands of inspirational and colorful sticky notes at The Note Coffee.

A caffeine fix is practically a requirement to tackle Train Street. After our first disastrous attempt to access the track, we lost faith in the popular activity. Luckily, a kind woman plucked us off the sidewalk and led us through a maze of hallways to her café, 34 Coffee Railway, a few days later.

We sat with fellow tourists as we all patiently waited on the sidelines with our cameras and iced coffees. Adrenaline kicked in as the train whooshed by mere inches from our animated faces! Despite the initial confusion and swift exile from police, Train Street lived up to the social media hype.

Compared to other Southeast Asian countries, Brad and I had trouble connecting with locals in Hanoi. We sought Vietnamese culture in other ways, including a visit to Ngoc Son Temple to understand the legend of the Golden Turtle. During the 15th Century, the sacred animal lent a magical sword to King Le Loi to help defeat Ming invaders. Two giant softshell turtle specimens are on display inside of the temple. Purchase tickets to a nightly show at the Thang Long Water Puppet Theater to see the legend, and other folkloric tales, come to life!

Take an English audio tour at the Hoa Lo Prison Museum to learn about a dark period in Vietnamese history. During the 19th Century, French colonists built and used the facility to incarcerate, torture, and kill Vietnamese political radicals. American prisoners of war (POWs) were also kept inside during the Vietnam War and nicknamed it the Hanoi Hilton. The harrowing conditions, cramped cells, guillotine, clothing, artifacts, propaganda, and artwork are thought-provoking.

Our dream of sampling tasty Vietnamese street food quickly turned into a nightmare after we noticed several cooks picking their noses and clipping their nails in between customers. One evening, Brad and I saw a woman washing dishes in the street next to a urinating man! The questionable personal hygiene was a huge turn off and we decided to stick with restaurants. Unfortunately, most of the highly rated eateries we tried missed the mark.

Thankfully, our tastebuds found satisfaction at a few spots! If you're looking for the perfect banh mi (short baguette with sliced meat, pickled vegetables, cilantro, mayonnaise, and chili sauce), head to Banh Mi 25 for its BBQ pork sandwich. An Café is the perfect setting to enjoy a banh mi with a mango orange smoothie. The breaded chicken sandwich with avocado and french fries was an interesting twist on the Vietnamese classic. The sup tom (prawns soup) at Quan Que Restaurant was flavorful and spicy.

Ha Long Bay

A floating mini getaway aboard Peony Cruises in Ha Long Bay was the lavish remedy we needed to cure our Hanoi headache. Brad and I spent a pretty penny to stay two relaxing nights in this scenic landscape full of towering limestone karsts, spectacular caves, and emerald coves.

The heavenly room featured huge windows to admire Ha Long Bay, a comfortable king-sized bed, private balcony, and marble bathroom with soaking tub. We opted to skip the kayaking, bike riding, and cave exploring activities due to the dreary weather and our depleted energy levels.

Instead, we took glorious long naps and hot bubble baths in between delicious buffet lunches and five-course dinners. The top deck was a great place to enjoy happy hour and mingle with other guests. I was impressed with the friendly and helpful staff who went above and beyond to make us feel welcome.

The main highlight was meeting a wonderful couple from Brazil. Enjoying the pleasant company of Hugo and Nubia brought the wind back in our tattered sails! Their positive attitudes, contagious laughter, and stories were inspiring and reminded us to take the low moments of travel in stride.

I must admit, our visit during the winter months wasn't the best idea. Plan a trip in either April or May to have a better chance of sunshine and warm weather. After seeing similarly beautiful limestone formations in western Thailand, Brad and I were underwhelmed with Ha Long Bay. I highly recommend Peony Cruises if you want to treat yourself, but affordable day trips from Hanoi are also possible.

Ninh Binh

Let's get one thing straight. The province of Ninh Binh is no longer a pristine off-the-beaten-path gem. Prepare for deteriorating temples, haphazard bike paths, loads of coach buses, and obnoxious boat rides. The reality of this natural oasis, which evokes Ha Long Bay, was partially hidden by a blanket of dense fog during our visit.

The chilly temps didn't exactly help us come to terms with our tourist trap dilemma. Brad and I stayed in the lackluster town of Tam Coc, which was a quiet base to begin our daily adventures to nearby attractions around the countryside. Luckily, we finished our routes using the rickety bikes our hotel provided without a single malfunction. Phew!

To make the most of Ninh Binh, I recommend traveling by bike to catch a glimpse of hardworking farmers tending to their livestock and rice paddy fields. Watch out for occasional road hazards, such as goats and chickens. Try to spot Sooty-headed Bulbuls calling in the trees and majestic cranes flying overhead. Refuel with a hot cup of ca phe muoi at Thung Sen Tam Coc Restaurant while you admire the limestone karsts.

Pedaling all day long will work up an appetite! Our favorite meal was the crispy banh xeo (rice pancake with vegetables, mung bean sprouts, and mushrooms) served with chili sauce at Mango Restaurant. Brad and I were obsessed with the international grub and milkshakes at Chookie's Beer Garden. The inviting ambience was the perfect place to relax and enjoy a BBQ pork brick oven pizza. On our way out to Tuyet Tinh Coc, we had a hearty prix fixe Vietnamese feast at Chef Dung Restaurant.

Learn from our mistake and skip the fake atmosphere at Tuyet Tinh Coc. The empty parking lot should've been our first clue to turn around. Ao Giai Lake is surrounded by a concrete path with artificial flowers glued onto real plants and staged areas for photo ops. The birds eye view at the pagoda left a lot to be desired, but the Buddhist altars of Am Tien Cave proved to be enlightening. Dewy stalactites and ornate bells hang from the protective alcoves which contain marble and bronze statues with various offerings from pilgrims.

Encounter a few whimsical dragons as you ascend roughly 500 steps to reach the two panoramic viewpoints of Mua Cave. The misty limestone karsts, muddy rice paddy fields, and distant houses look like an idyllic postcard. Arrive early or late to avoid the masses on your trek. Bich Dong Pagoda has an intimate feel with its three levels tucked against the lush mountainside. Pass through the charming entrance gate to discover golden shrines, wooden temples, dark caves, and engraved stelae.

The most popular activity in Ninh Binh is a leisurely Trang An boat tour. There are three options to choose from depending on the sites you wish to explore. Brad and I picked Route 3 to see three temples (Den Trinh, Den Suoi Tien, and Hanh Cung Vu Lam) and three caves (Hang Dot, Hang Van, and Hang Dai). Remember to keep track of your boat number in between stops. Snacks and beverages are allowed on board.

We were paired with a boisterous young couple from Ho Chi Minh City since we didn't pay for a private boat. At first, we were a bit distracted by their talking and singing when all we wanted to do was enjoy the mysterious environment in peace. However, we soon appreciated their translations between us and our Vietnamese guide. Even though our expectations sunk, the experience turned out just fine! Our ride took approximately three hours to complete. Cash tips are appreciated.

Final Thoughts

Anthony Bourdain once said, "Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that's okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind."

These eloquent words resonate with me when I think back on northern Vietnam. The hefty dose of culture shock smacked me square in the face and left a bitter impression on my psyche. Ultimately, the experience taught me a valuable lesson. You can't fully appreciate amazing travel moments without accepting a handful of painful ones. Hopefully, you don't find yourself with a similar can of worms if you venture to Hanoi, Ha Long Bay, or Ninh Binh!